I realize I’m really quite strange: when I’m up a little, the most I do is “Hey, not bad,” and then carry on eating and sleeping. But when I float into a slight loss—even just a tiny one—my brain immediately starts an automatic conference, endlessly turning over in my mind, “Should I cut my losses?” “What if it drops to zero?” Put simply, losing money feels like being poked with a needle, while making a bit of profit feels more like a quick patch that eases the discomfort—my psychology is completely lopsided.

Recently, that whole testnet incentive and points scheme has been itching my mind. In the group, everyone keeps guessing every day whether the mainnet will actually issue tokens. I say out loud that I don’t gamble, but with my hands I still go click a few interactions. After that, I start staring at my wallet, lost in thought: once my unrealized loss is even a little, I want to shut it off right away; once my unrealized profit is even a little, I can’t bring myself to leave. Classic me.

Before, I always liked to say, “I only look at my emotions,” but now I realize emotions are exactly what can deceive me the most… Still, I have to force myself to take a couple more looks at the chain and the rules—if I can’t understand them, at least it’s better than placing orders based only on heartbeat. Anyway, tonight I’ll trim my position a bit so that those little red-and-green signals won’t keep messing with my sleep.