‘We have no prenup’: I want rights of survivorship in our marital home. My wife prefers tenants in common. Now what?

Quentin Fottrell

Fri, February 13, 2026 at 10:14 PM GMT+9 7 min read

“We purchased our dream home with a tenants-in-common clause recorded on the deed where we each owned a 50% stake in the house.” (Photo subject is a model.) - Getty Images/iStockphoto

Dear Quentin,

After my first wife passed away, I remarried a wonderful woman. Together, we bought a house using communal assets. Ten years later, we parted on the most agreeable terms, as her urban lifestyle clashed with my rural one. I was left with the house, continued to occupy it, and assumed all payments and responsibilities.

The only stipulation was that if I ever sold the house, the proceeds would be split 50/50, in accordance with the “tenants-in-common” agreement on the deed. I lived with this albatross hanging over my head for five years, constantly worrying that her daughter (with whom I never got along) would claim her mother’s interest if anything happened to her.

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I was certain she would demand her share and make my life miserable until I sold and paid her off. I even had fearful dreams of her daughter threatening to move into her half of the house, making my life unbearable. Eventually, an opportunity arose, and I agreed to sell the house and share the proceeds with my ex-wife.

A few years later, I married for the third time. Once again, history repeated itself: We purchased our dream home with a tenants-in-common clause recorded on the deed where we each owned a 50% stake in the house. All went well at first, but the worries resurfaced as we began writing our wills (we are both in our mid-70s).

I have one daughter who is well off, having received a generous bequest through my deceased sister’s will. I love my wife dearly and wish for her to have no issues with my estate if I predecease her. I have willed her 100% of my estate. My wife, however, insists on giving 100% of her assets to her children — four of them, all of whom are independently wealthy.

Buying a final home

As a result, I would receive nothing and would once again endure the dreaded “tenants-in-common” clause attached to our property. We keep our assets separate and contribute equally to a “household account” from which all bills are paid. So our home is really the only asset that is in contention.

We are considering building our “final home.” I am contemplating insisting that we drop the tenants-in-common clause on the new house and use a rights-of-survivorship deed. I do not want to worry about any interference with my living arrangements if she passes before I do. If I pass first, she would have a seamless transition of ownership.

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Our assets are weighted more heavily in her favor — $1 million (outside of real estate) versus my $500,000 in liquid assets. If she were to pass before me under a tenants-in-common agreement, my assets would likely be exhausted trying to buy out her share. Her children and I get along magnificently, but we all know what inheritance can do to relationships.

My wife insists that I am financially secure and will be just fine without any of her assets. We love each other dearly, but she is an old-school farm girl who inherited all her money and wants to pass it down to her children, just as her parents did. I do not want a dime — only the rights of survivorship.

We live in Washington state, and we have no prenup. Am I being fair in insisting on the rights of survivorship?

Third Time Lucky

**. **

**Related: **‘People are often unreasonable when money is involved’: My husband, 62, gave me a 5-year life estate. Would I have to pay for a new roof?

More people, I suspect, would be happier in their marriages if they felt financially independent. - MarketWatch illustration

Dear Lucky,

You are, understandably, reeling from past marital financial curveballs.

Few people would want to look for a new place in their 70s or, God forbid, 80s. As this column has shown, blended families can fall apart when a parent dies, so you are not necessarily paranoid to be concerned about family discord over an inheritance. However, a life estate, where the surviving spouse lives in the house until their death, may be a good compromise.

Let’s leave aside the fact that you were wounded by past experiences — buying a home with successive wives with a tenants-in-common deed rather than maintaining your own separate properties — the same risks have presented themselves. I’m not convinced you should push for joint tenancy with the rights of survivorship, where you both own 100% of your home.

If you can afford to buy another house and/or downsize, your daughter is more likely to receive your share with JTWROS. The reason is simple: Unless your wife is significantly older than you, you are likely to die first as a man. Women tend to outlive men by 5-6 years, so your third wife would inherit your 50% and pass it to her children. Your daughter would not see a dime.

If, on the other hand, you can afford to buy a home outright on your own terms, it would make more sense to have tenants in common, where you each own 50% of your home, if you want your daughter to receive her share. If you do not have any spare cash to buy your own house in the event your wife dies before you do, yes, JTWROS makes the most sense.

In Washington state, community property with right of survivorship (CPROS) combines automatic survivorship, bypassing probate, with a favorable tax treatment of community property, including a step-up in basis at the first spouse’s death. For married couples, especially later in life, it’s often superior to a standard joint tenancy with right of survivorship (JTWROS).

Elective share

Washington state is a community-property state, meaning that most assets and debts acquired during a marriage or registered domestic partnership are presumed to be marital property. Property acquired before your marriage, or received during your marriage as a gift or inheritance, is generally considered separate property as long as you don’t commingle it.

The length of a marriage would also influence how a couple’s assets are divided in the event of divorce, according to Bliss Law Group, which is based in Tacoma, Wash. “In marriages lasting less than five years — generally considered ‘short-term’ in Washington — courts often try to return spouses to their approximate pre-marriage financial positions.”

“For long-term marriages, courts tend toward more equal divisions of all property, sometimes even including separate property,” the law firm adds. “The community-property concept reflects the view that marriage is an economic partnership where both parties contribute to the marital estate, even if in different ways.” In other words, asset divisions are complicated.

Washington state does not provide an elective share for the surviving spouse, so married couples automatically retain their half of the community property. (Other states provide the surviving spouse with an elective share of the estate and some, like Texas, even have a homestead provision giving the surviving spouse a life estate in the family home.)

From what you say, you could, in theory, use your 50% share and a portion of your $500,000 liquid savings, if you were in a pinch, so try to put those bad dreams to bed. You are in a happy marriage so there’s every reason to think this will be third time lucky for you. But more people, I suspect, would be happier in their marriages if they felt financially independent.

The most practical solution: Community property with right of survivorship or, as a halfway point, a clearly drafted life-estate agreement, ideally memorialized in a postnuptial agreement to fend off any disgruntled stepchildren. These would both ease your worries about housing insecurity without undermining your wife’s wish to leave her broader estate to her own children.

Presenting such a compromise should help with your negotiations.

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